Sometimes the actions of rude dweebs cross a line. I do not believe in the death penalty. No, you shouldn’t actually die for crimes related to teasing, but sometimes some sort of execution is warranted anyway. You need to be put on some sort of death row. You must be forced to say your last words. Your weeping family members must sob and you must be hoisted up by two grave-looking high school football players in varsity jackets, flipped upside down, and ritualistically dunked in the toilet. something inside you is dying.
First of all, it has to be the person who paid nearly a million dollars for Jensen Huang’s leather jacket.
It pains me to inform you that yes, someone previously paid $960,000 for the Tom Ford leather jacket worn by Nvidia co-founder and CEO Jensen Huang at the 2023 Foxconn event. I think it probably means this event. The diagonal zippers on Huang’s jacket in that clip match the ones on it Sotheby’s online listing for the Huang jacket. Yes, they bought it when they could this is a five bedroom house and he has money left for the car.
Brahm Wachter heads the so-called “contemporary collections” department at Sotheby’s told CNBC“The response to this sale has exceeded even our highest expectations.” Even Sotheby’s thinks this guy overpaid.
To be clear, I agree that one of Jensen Huang’s leather jackets is worth preserving—not because they’re necessarily associated with anything auspicious, but at the very least because they’re puzzling artifacts from a tragicomic episode in history. Jensen Huang is one of the main characters in the AI story of the 2020s, and he wears leather jackets in most of his public appearances. His jacket doesn’t quite look like one of Groucho’s cigars, but it does. Orson Welles’ Paul Masson glasses.
Leather jackets are what bikers and the Fonz wear. These are what female spies and jewel thieves wear in movies. Along with watches, they are one of the canonical fetish items sad men with shopping addiction. If you’re cool, a leather jacket will amp it up, but if you’re cool, a leather jacket triple strengthen it.
Huang, who looks like any midlife crisis dad, is far from the worst example of a guy in a frilly leather jacket. Luckily, the vibes don’t tell you there’s a sex scene going on. He claims It’s his wife and daughter who decide he wears these jackets, and it’s kind of cute and helps a little. And admittedly, she struggled before settling on this look. He is obviously sick Oxford buttonand he looks downright terrifying folded shirtbut black polo shirts suit him well, short sleeve or long.
But now someone has made Huang’s trademark-style piece culturally significant by throwing a life-changing amount of money at it, like a status-symbol bottle of wine or a Bored Monkey. Huang’s role in this case is now irrelevant. Someone made this suggestion, and why, all odds go down.
In the best case scenario, it was like a collector of smeared, rich ironies Martin Shkreli. Or maybe it was a billionaire’s assistant, tasked with building an AI collection of goods, given a blank check to buy some items that might be interesting someday, but not too worried about any of them gaining value. And then it gets even sadder: Is a failed Gulf oil tycoon trying to get Huang’s attention so they can form a startup? Some kind of AI true believer planning a National AI Museum? Or God help us, Jensen Huang Stan? Anyone going into the bedroom tonight with scissors to cut their hair?
Whoever you are, stay hidden. Don’t show your face in public wearing your new Jensen jacket. There’s only so much I can take.
